Unraveled (Holding On Book 3) Read online

  Then again, did it matter?

  Probably not. No matter how she looked at it, she knew she was screwed.

  “Sorry, Carly,” Jemma said sympathetically. “I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, I know how difficult Margo can be. But you have a few weeks to figure it out.” Jemma made an apologetic face. “Do you have any friends you can crash with?”

  Carly scoffed. “For the next five months…?” She shook her head. She didn’t bother to tell Jemma she wasn’t really close to that many girls at school. She had a few friends, sure. She and Melissa were pretty close. But after she’d gotten engaged, she was horrified to now realize she’d become one of “those girls”. It hadn’t been intentional. Since she and Nolan were living together, it had just become easy to turn down invites out. They’d gotten accustomed to staying at home and spending a lot of nights in. When they did go out, like they’d planned to that night, it was usually with mutual friends.

  Carly felt her frustration sizzle through her. How was she supposed to face them? Dan? Melissa? The rest of their friends? Had they known? Or did Nolan just skip town without telling anyone goodbye? Was she going to have to tell everyone? She wasn’t sure which option was worse.

  Their food arrived and Carly managed to steer the conversation away from herself. It had become too depressing. Instead, she insisted Jemma give her an update on her life. Carly found out that things were still moving forward with Bart—which she’d already deduced from the text Jemma had sent asking for a ride. They’d been together for over a year now but Jemma hadn’t hinted to her that they’d talked about marriage yet.

  Carly found herself envious, wishing she’d taken things that slowly. She took another sip of her beer and then realized that Jemma was grimacing.

  “What?” Carly demanded.

  “Your night is about to get a hell of a lot better…Or a hell of a lot worse,” Jemma declared.

  Carly glanced over her shoulder, toward the door. Bart had walked in with some friends. She recognized Shane immediately as her eyes zeroed in on the new-comers pushing their way through the crowd. Bart, Shane…and…yes…As soon as Shane stepped to the side, it was clear who Jemma had seen.

  Jesse.

  “Sorry, Carly,” Jemma quickly said. “I had no idea he was going to show up. I knew Bart had plans with friends. I figured Shane was one of them…I guess I should’ve assumed Jesse would be with them too. I totally wasn’t thinking.”

  Carly forced a shrug.

  Despite vision that was starting to blur, she’d recognize Jesse just about anywhere.

  He spotted her nearly the same moment she spotted him. Carly could tell by his startled look that he was just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. He stopped in his tracks for just a moment. Then he gave his head a little shake, as if to clear it and then moved forward. Carly pivoted back around in the booth. It didn’t take long for the guys to weave their way through the crowd.

  “Hey, we can join you right?” Bart asked.

  Jemma looked to Carly. “Well, I don’t know,” she said, keeping her tone light. “We’re in the middle of some girl talk. I didn’t realize you’d be coming to get us right away.”

  Bart grinned at her and nudged her over. “I’m not here to take you home yet. I was just meeting up with Jesse and Shane when I got your text. We were planning on coming here anyway.”

  “Take a seat,” Shane said to Jesse. He motioned to the spot in the booth next to Carly. Shane reached over and grabbed a chair from the nearest table. He settled the chair at the end of the booth and took that seat for himself.

  Carly felt her gaze lingering over Jesse. He was still wearing those worn jeans. His hair looked freshly styled. From where she was sitting, she recognized the scent of his cologne. It was the same brand she’d gotten him so many years ago. Surely, he’d had to replace that bottle by now. Her lips twitched—somewhere between smug and amused—over the realization that despite all the women he’d dated over the years…It was her cologne that he still wore.

  “Carly?”

  Her eyes snapped up to his face. He was still standing next to their booth. She realized that he must’ve said her name more than once. Not trusting her voice, she raised her eyebrows in question.

  “Are you okay with us…uh, I mean me…joining you?” he asked.

  She simply scooted over a miniscule amount and patted the seat next to her. She was pretty sure by that point, even without the alcohol, she was okay with just about anything that involved Jesse.

  He gave Carly what she knew was a forced smile as he dropped himself into the booth. “So, stranger, I haven’t seen you in months. Now twice in one day,” he said as he leaned in close.

  To hell with the alcohol. She was going to become intoxicated simply with his scent.

  “Yeah,” Carly agreed, unable to force away her own, very real smile. “How about that?”

  5

  Carly peeled her eyelids open…one at a time. The task took a bit of effort. She squinted into the sunlit room. What happened to being more responsible? she wondered. Then again, aside from last night, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d cut loose like that.

  She wished she could say it felt good. At the moment, it felt anything but good.

  Though the shades were drawn, the room was still a bit too bright. Immediately, she recognized the familiar cream-colored walls, the heavy, navy colored curtains. The soft flannel sheets—without looking, she knew they were cream as well—and the comforter she was buried under was navy and cream plaid.

  She let out a groan as she rolled her head to the side. Jesse’s side of the bed was empty. With a feeling of trepidation, she reached over, feeling the sheets on his side. They were cold. She wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or not.

  She decided this was a good thing because with a start, she realized she was naked.

  With some effort, she pushed her memory into reverse. As she lay there, she couldn’t dredge up the events of the night before. The morning…day…evening? Yes. The night? No.

  She could clearly remember the debacle with Nolan, sure. And visiting with those precious babies. And going to the bar with Jemma. Jesse showing up. Jemma adding yet another round of Melon Balls….

  “Crap…crap…crap…” she muttered. Surely she and Jesse hadn’t…She pulled her hands out from the blankets and slapped them over her eyes. She had no idea if they had or not. The realization left her feeling disgusted with herself. It had been a very long time since she’d had that much to drink. For that very reason. She loathed the idea of losing chunks of time.

  For a moment, she was tempted to just squirm down a little deeper under the covers and try to go back to sleep. She’d welcome that kind of dark oblivion. The sound of Jesse—probably in the kitchen—perked her up too much to let that happen. Instead, she sighed, letting familiar memories wrap around her.

  Jesse Nyland…

  How had she ended up in his bed?

  Or maybe it wasn’t really a surprise.

  Although she hadn’t been in his bed for years, it felt ridiculously familiar.

  It’s been years since I was here, she thought. Wow. It was hard to believe. At one time, even though she lived out of town, rarely more than a few months would go by without seeing Jesse. Or being with Jesse.

  She and Jesse had a long, tangled history. He was the guy she’d given her virginity to when she was barely fifteen. Since that night forward, edging on close to a decade ago, she’d had a hard time staying away from him. A part of her would never forgive him for taking it and then walking away. Over the years, she’d done her best to make him pay…to make him regret it. It had taken her a long time to admit to herself that while she had worked so hard to get him to fall for her, only so that she could be the one to leave him…Well, somehow she’d managed to fall for him too.

  But she hadn’t been able to admit it in time. So he’d moved on…with Betsy.

  And Carly had moved on with Nolan…had gotten engaged t
o Nolan. She had pushed Jesse out of her head, if not out of her heart.

  Now Betsy was long gone, as far as Carly knew. And so was Nolan.

  She groaned again and pushed the forming thought away. She and Jesse? They had always been nothing more than just another disaster waiting to happen.

  With a grimace, she flung the covers off. As much as she’d like to sleep her grogginess away, she had things to do. Visiting hours at the hospital would be starting soon. She was going to have to face her parents. She was also going to have to give some serious thought to her predicament at school.

  She rolled out of bed, very much aware that she was naked and not entirely sure why. Nor was she willing to hazard a guess at that point. A quick glance around Jesse’s tidy room let her know that her clothes weren’t present.

  “What the hell…?” she muttered under her breath.

  She quickly made her way over to Jesse’s dresser. She tugged out a pair of boxers from his top drawer and pulled them on. A quick foray into the second drawer provided her with a t-shirt, just as she knew it would. She was nearly as familiar with Jesse’s dresser as she was with her own. She tugged the t-shirt on.

  Time to go face whatever mess I managed to get myself into, she thought.

  As she pulled the bedroom door open, she heard the obvious noises of Jesse banging around in the kitchen. The scent of coffee assaulted her. She cringed and made her way down the short hallway.

  A surge of relief flooded over her when she spotted the couch through the open doorframe. A pillow was at one end and blankets hung haphazardly over the side.

  “Hey…” Carly said as she shuffled into the kitchen.

  Jesse turned to her, an unreadable look on his face. “Hey, yourself.” He turned back around, giving his attention to the pot of coffee. He refilled his cup. Over his shoulder he said, “I’d offer you some but…”

  “Ugh, no,” Carly said with a groan. “No thank you.” She hated coffee. When she had been drinking, the simple smell of it made her stomach roll over, as it was doing now. She trudged across Jesse’s kitchen and took a seat at the table. Her brain felt as though it were rolling around inside of her head, banging against the walls of her skull. She placed her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands.

  A few moments later Jesse said, “Here take these.” He handed her two small, white pills and a huge glass of orange juice.

  “Thanks,” she said, taking them from him.

  Her eyes drifted over him as he walked away. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants. They hung low on his hips. At the moment, he was shirtless. His well-defined shoulder muscles seemed to be taunting her. She thought he really could have put a shirt on. Then again, it was his house, his kitchen. Of course he was going to walk around in whatever he cared to wear.

  “Let me just grab a shirt and then I’ll get you some toast.” It was as if he’d read her thoughts.

  “No, you don’t have to do that. I should just—”

  He waved a hand at her, cutting her off. “You should eat. It’ll only take a few minutes.” He disappeared briefly from the kitchen.

  As Carly sat there, she couldn’t decide if she felt out of place or right at home. It was a disconcerting feeling.

  He reappeared and without another word to her, he pulled the bread from the bag and dropped two pieces in the slots of the toaster.

  “So…last night…?” Carly hesitantly began.

  He turned around and quirked an eyebrow at her. “What about it?”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. Of course he was going to make her ask. She felt her stubbornness kicking in. He smirked at her, knowing her well enough to know that he was annoying her. Just. Like. That. Carly felt herself sliding back into familiar territory with Jesse. The game playing territory, where one was always trying to outdo the other.

  For the first time, she realized she didn’t want things to be that way with him. She gave her head a little shake. Her whole world was falling apart. She didn’t have the time, desire or ambition to go around and around with Jesse.

  “Where are my clothes?” she asked.

  “In the dryer,” he told her as her toast popped up.

  “And how did they end up in there?”

  “I put them in there.” Carly raised her eyebrows and gestured for him to go on. “I washed them. Shane spilled some beer on you last night. Really, it wasn’t his fault. You were a little...uh, tipsy. You bumped into him. You don’t remember that?”

  “Nope. I really don’t remember much of anything,” she admitted, hoping to hurry the conversation along. “Will you please just tell me what happened? I remember you guys showing up at Shady’s. And I remember Jemma ordering another round…Things are…fuzzy after that.”

  “I bet they are,” Jesse muttered as he spread a thin layer of butter on her toast.

  Carly watched, wondering if she should be annoyed or grateful that Jesse knew her well enough to make her toast just the way she liked it. A thin coat of butter followed by a thick layer of peanut butter. No jelly, of course.

  He slid the plate in front of her.

  “Come on, Jesse, just tell me.” She looked at him imploringly. Undoubtedly, he was enjoying making her wonder, making her wait it out. “Look,” she said, deciding to take the first step, “I get this is probably funny to you. I get it. I was a mess last night. I probably made a fool of myself. It would not be the first time. So could you for once, just put me out of my misery and let me know just how horrible I was? Please.”

  The smug look fell from his face. “What do you want to know?”

  She took a tentative bite of her toast as she glanced around his familiar kitchen. The walls were cream, like the bedroom. The appliances all black. The curtains, rugs and hand towel hanging from the stove were bright red. It was masculine, yet tasteful. Or at least, she thought it was. Though, since she was the one who picked everything out, it only made sense she would feel that way. She swallowed her toast and dared another sip of juice. After making sure her stomach was settled enough, she barged ahead.

  “Okay…I want to know how I ended up here, instead of Jemma’s. How in the hell did I end up naked. Did we…” She mentally braced herself, knowing Jesse was probably going to love how the question made her squirm. “Did we have sex?” There, that came out easier than she’d thought it would.

  He crossed his arms and leaned against the countertop, facing her. There was no humor present in his demeanor.

  “Well, Jemma decided she was ready to head home pretty early on. She tried talking you into going with her. You weren’t ready to go yet. You asked me for a ride home and I agreed. But when we were getting ready to go, you got all upset. You didn’t want to go to your parents’. You were babbling on and on about how you just couldn’t face them…” Carly cringed, wondering if she’d dumped her heart and her pride out all over Jesse last night. “You didn’t tell me why,” he assured her. “But you did more or less beg me to bring you back here. So you wouldn’t have to deal with them. As for how you ended up naked?” For the first time all morning, he laughed. “That was all you. You walked in the front door, made a beeline for my bed, stripping along the way—”

  “I am so sorry!” she said, following the proclamation with a groan. Apparently, some habits were harder than others to break. Coming home late at night with Jesse had always only led to one thing. Despite the fact that he’d seen it all before, she felt heat flood to her cheeks. “So sorry.”

  His humor faded as he realized she meant it. “It’s fine. You were wasted. And no, I did not take advantage of you.” His gaze dropped to the ring still wrapped around her finger. “I might not always be an upstanding guy…but there are some lines I just won’t cross. You crawled right into my bed. I picked up your clothes and tossed them in the wash. I figured if you were already nervous about facing your parents, you wouldn’t want to do it in the morning smelling like a brewery.” He frowned. “Do you care to elaborate on that yet? Why you’re avoiding your parents?
”

  She shook her head. “No. I really don’t.”

  “Alright,” he said with a sigh. “Well, I tossed your clothes in the wash. Then I slept on the couch.”

  She finished off her toast. “You could’ve put me on the couch or in the spare room.” She knew he didn’t like the bed in the spare room. It was too lumpy and bumpy. But he could’ve made her sleep there.

  “Nah, it was fine,” he said.

  “So…um…I’m sure I’ve been enough of a pain in the ass…” she said as she rose to her feet, plate and glass in hand.

  Jesse let out an amused scoff. “But?”

  “But I was wondering if I could maybe take a shower? And then would you mind driving me back to Shady’s so I can get my car? If it’s too much trouble, I’m sure Jemma would come get me.” She went to the sink and rinsed her dishes, trying not to think about how familiar these simple actions in Jesse’s kitchen felt.

  “It’s no trouble. I have a few errands to run this morning anyway. Go ahead and take a shower. I’m sure you remember where everything is,” he said with a wry smile. His eyes scanned over her body, she fought the urge to shiver. She felt incredibly underdressed in his boxers and thin t-shirt. “Help yourself to whatever you need.”

  “Thanks,” she said as she darted from the room. Her first stop was the laundry room. The dryer was still running. She was relieved to find that her clothes were done so she pulled them out and headed to the bathroom.

  So, nothing had happened with Jesse. It was a relief. She turned the water on and stripped down, tossing Jesse’s clothes into the bathroom hamper and pulling out a towel before stepping into the shower.

  ~*~*~

  “So how long are you in town for?” Jesse asked as they neared Shady’s parking lot.